We hear so much about “The Godfather”, the movie, yes? Do you have a Godmother? Life is the cause that every human is born into, while a good life is the effect of knowing a well and happy, safe and strong, Godmother.
The Collision
The Friday past, an evening flight out of Miami to Columbus was delayed at least an hour or so. It was ready to fly my wife back from sun and fun to the blowing and snowing Ohio weather. We were on the road, my brother and I. We stopped in Kent to have some burgers and fries, cups of water. The chitchatting seemed evenly distributed between my brother and myself as we travelled along the interstate highways I-80, I-76 and I-71.
I had decided after dinner we would proceed a little slower than normal, definitely lower than a 70 mile an hour speed limit and head southwest towards the capital city. As the airplane was delayed, there was no rush to be at the terminal. We discussed amongst ourselves how are we going to pass the extra hour or two of an early arrival at the airport. Perhaps a movie, Paul suggested the casino, nothing seemed to stick.
Along about midnight or just after, there was a abrupt halt to the driving as the semi trucks and a few cars were stopped in a single file lane at the sight of a collision. There is absolutely no movement for 45 minutes, as a couple dozen first responder vehicles and personnel had entered the area. We were then released back into a very slow flow of traffic, passing at least three vehicles involved in the collision. One was a semi cab without a trailer, another was a huge monster pick up truck, and the last one that we saw was white van that seemed to be crumpled into shape of a PT cruiser.
We can only speculate what happened, however looking at the pick up truck, a sight I have never seen before, I thought then I never want to drive a vehicle again. Whoever was in that truck seemingly could not have survived, needing not to describe the carnage that was exposed.
My Godmother came to mind within this hour, and so she should have. Brother Paul and I both have the same Godparents, Gene and Toots. We were returning from viewing hours at the funeral home in Sharon, Pennsylvania, for the Godmother Aunt Tootsie (1932-2022). As said, the cause of the brutal crash was unknown to us. Oddly the report of it appears absent in sources that document such entanglements, although none have yet been read. The effect of knowing my spouse’s arrival into CMH was predicated on unknown forces, at least to me, at work. What was impacted was my decision to slow the driving speed.
Had our vehicle arrived for four minutes earlier we never would've known about the collision and conversely if we had arrived one minute earlier there's a good chance we would've been in the middle of the fray. Who am I to say that our Godmother kindly guided the Godsons following her recently found being on the other side of the veil? Obviously it did come to mind.
Make no mistake that there is profound difference between lightness and darkness.
The Godmother we speak of here, is “a woman who presents a child at baptism and promises to take responsibility for their religious education”, among other things. We do not speak of the dark side of ‘’the godmother”, who is the notorious one known as ‘The Godmother’, Griselda Blanco1 (1943 – 2012), a Colombian drug lady of the Medellín Cartel. She became the first-ever billionaire female criminal.
The Godmother
Aunt Tootsie was ‘The Godmother’, with three definitive factors that came to us because of her life choices.
First, although as a young child we lived hours away from her home, she connected to us. There were no interstate highways, no video calls, no computers, no cell phones, but she was affixed to our lives. We did have 8 mm movies and black and white photographs that were shared, by our parents and Godparents until color came along.
Our strong family ties as the Godchildren continued into our teen years, as we visited frequently, for being a far distance away. My Godfather and Uncle once travelled from western PA to New York City as we disembarked off the USS Independence, in 1966, moving back stateside, while The Godmother cared for her five pre-teen children back home. The Godparents and family even visited from PA to OK. We often attended the annual Scarmack Family Reunion. She would house us, feed us, entertain us with our first cousins at the family residence.
Second, we were remembered on the holidays, and especially on our birthdays, with greeting cards. This is long before she worked for American Greeting Cards. Because the Godmother kept us in the loop in our younger years, throughout life, we were keen as to what our cousins were doing. I recall receiving gifts often, small items, but valuable in my eyes, like a tie clasp or cuff links. Yes we wore cuff links on our shirts.
Lastly, as her Godsons witnessed, the notion of God given to us in her lessons, promoted the ‘God’-mother part, to know and love God.
The history of The Godmother is often associated in the Judeo-Christian traditions. Other religious and non-religious paths, such as humanism, also recognize the formal and informal practices, and similar patterns which typically are not legally binding, carrying no legal rights.
The Viewing and The Eulogy
I did not attend the Roman Catholic Funeral Mass held for our Aunt on Saturday morning, February 27, 2022. (I watched a delayed video on YouTube the next day). My brother, son and I did attend a few hours at the viewing the night before. Never in my life had I stood in a long line of living souls paying respects for any deceased person. We arrived before the first hour had concluded and hours later a line to acknowledge Aunt Tootsie’s bodily presence persisted. Traditionally the viewing ends at the funeral homes I have attended, with the reciting of a Rosary. So too this night the ritual proceeded, as a substantial number of people stayed and prayed.
Helen (Aunt Tootsie) Scarmack Mass of Christian Burial was an ecumenical service, especially in reference to the addition of the eulogy. The featured testimonial is infrequent at this type of Mass. Our first cousin, Nancy Boote, gave a very moving homage. For me personally the elaboration of Proverbs 31 was memorable. I experienced a lump in my throat her entire delivery, shedding a tear at the end.
Nancy opened the acclamation by sharing,
“Let's start out with professing what we all know to be true. Toots was the best. She was the best daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, sister-in-law, servant and friend, and so much more.”
The “so much more” part I identify. Aunt Tootsie was the best Godmother.
Nancy continued,
“She has made us feel special, made us laugh, taught us to laugh at ourselves, and made sure we were fed and happy to always put others needs above herself. She modeled life to us.”
Nancy ‘framed’ her reflection of our aunt with selected verses from the Old Testament chapter of Proverbs 31, she said,
“A wife of noble character who can find, she is worth far more than rubies, her husband has full confidence in her, and lacks nothing of value, she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.”
then she proclaims,
“To describe this noble woman as one who gets up while it is still night, she provides food for her family, she sets about her work vigorously, she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy, she is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come, she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue, and she watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness”
And so it was, it is, and will always be The Grandmother, The Proverbs modern day Woman, I knew.
A Zoetic Message
I have include Nancy Boote’s words here as they are enlightened by graces I do not see. Her sentiments and the biblical interconnections are a study of an enneagram of Aunt Tootsie, a human and holy person.
Just as the celebrant of the Mass, Father Matthew Ruyechan proclaimed in his homily and the final commendation,
“Trusting in God we have prayed together for Tootsie and now we come to the last farewell. There is sadness and parting we take comfort in the hope that one day we shall see her again and enjoy her friendship although we will disperse in sorrow”.
I have been most blessed to have a loving Godmother. I often look at long lines in the family tree and so desire to know their minds and hearts, tribulations and joys. We that have children and grand children and great grand children would be ecstatic to have role models for the Goddaughters and Godsons, the Creator of All, sends our way. We that do not, are surely able to be Godparents. Zoeticism is a state that is to be alive and vital, so too, The Godmother we entrust our offspring is good.
Let us pull back the veil and see.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griselda_Blanco
A tweet:
#Ukriane it is so sad
#StopWar of men mad
#Putin will be buried with gold
#PutinWarCriminal it will turn to mold
#TheGodmother should had seen
#TheGodson was so mean
she could have given him #timeout
So world wouldn’t be #burnedout